International Women's Day: Growing Up As A Girl

Happy International Women's Day! As I turn of age to becoming a young adult this year, I felt like it would be time for some reflection of life lessons growing up as a girl.

Image: 2-year-old me!

1. On Opportunities and Perceptions

I grew up as a shy girl. I was told that I didn't speak much as a kid. Needless to say, I wasn't the student a teacher would notice in a class. Moreover, I wasn't the student who was doing noticeably well academically. All it took was for my teacher back in Primary School to hand me the "Prefectorial Board Executive Committee" application form that gave me that little bit of confidence to do something beyond my comfort zone. I recall how excited my family and friends were when this happened, and looking back I am thankful that they were proud of me.

That was also the point of time when I took up competitive swimming. As a primary school girl, I trained every other day after school. On weekends, my training sessions start at 7 am and I vividly recall how much I struggled with the training rigour at the very beginning. Looking back, that was a period of time that built up my mental capacity to give myself that little push when I felt like I couldn't. It was the period of time when I started to feel good about myself, that I could achieve small wins as long I worked a little harder and pushed a little harder than before.

Fast forward to Secondary School, I was offered to run for the position of my school's Executive President - the highest leadership position a student leader can possibly attain in the school. Taking up such a high responsibility meant having to run a solo school-wide campaign to garner the votes of all students and staff. It meant having to address hundreds of my teachers and peers on stage (oh, how I hated speaking up in class - needless to say speaking on stage!). I was also told that 10 years in history never did a girl win the elections before (not sure why that was a consideration for me then) which made me a little hesitant to run for the position. Was I really cut out for a position like this?

Nevertheless, with the encouragement of the people around me, I went forth, got the position and learnt so much along the way. I still recall how my principal taught me how to breathe properly when I public speak (which I make a conscious effort to do so now!), got the opportunity to interact first-hand with Singapore's Deputy Prime Minister and got to address many of the gaps in school by engaging student leaders school-wide.

Image: Taking my oath as my school's Executive President

Image: Hosting DPM at my school's 60th Anniversary

Out of all these activities that I participated in, I was always judged by my role and not by my gender. There were boys swimming faster than girls and girls swimming faster than boys; there were girls winning the elections and boys winning the elections. It was then when I realised that a lot of thought patterns we have about gender inequality were counterproductive and that these have to be addressed before we talk about equal opportunities for all. In fact, there are already plenty of opportunities out there!

2. On Confidence and Humility

As a Psychology student, I do acknowledge that there are obvious differences in the biological makeup of both genders which give rise to gender stereotypes. These differences are a mix of nature and nurture, which goes to show that there are certain attributes which are inborn and give rise to gender differences.

Growing up, I slowly got to understand these differences as I interacted with more people while observing how these differences play out on a larger scale (eg. in teams). I realised that be it, boys or girls, everyone had something worth learning from. Having the opportunity to work in teams with many other boys, I have learnt how not to be afraid of bringing that "girl's perspective" to the table for teams to make more holistic decisions together. That being said, I enjoyed listening to the boys' side of things as well!

Maturing with both girls and boys around me has shown me that it just all takes some courage in having the confidence for my opinion to be heard - especially when they are well thought through! On the other hand, be also humble in seeking the opinions of others, be it, boys or girls, because we all have blind spots!

Image: The Skilio founding team! Meetings with them are always enjoyable. Challenging each other at times but that's all part of the journey!

3. On Education, Career & Family

I have grown up in a city privileged enough to say that opportunities are available so long as I work for them. Unfortunately, there are still 130 million girls out there who lack that chance to receive an education they deserve. Sometimes when I find myself complaining about the school work I have to cope with, taking a step back to understand that I am so fortunate gives me that extra push to work harder.

As someone who will be involved in building my family next time, I believe that I can do more to become a role model for young women around me. I hope every girl out there treats herself with love and care because her self-esteem, courage and confidence will shine, be it in school, family or in her career. I look forward to a world where more girls can be recipients of wonderful opportunities just like me, and move on to inspire other girls with their stories.

Image: One of the amazing opportunities I had as an intern in Kingmaker Consultancy - impacting youth as a coach, mentor and trainer!

Conclusion

I would say that my journey growing up as a girl isn't quite the same for most - from my participation in competitive sports, in the field of leadership, and now entrepreneurship. In retrospect, I am grateful to have grown up in an era when opportunities are plenty and accessible to me as a girl in her formative years. To all girls out there, there is always a stage out there for you to shine, you do you, and dream big!